Gentlemen, as you know . . . (hopefully), Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. This can be a high pressure day as we try to meet if not exceed the expectations of our wives on this holiday that celebrates the love between us and our wives. Finding the perfect gift is never easy and usually takes a lot of searching, luck, and what feels like divine inspiration. In preparation for this Valentine’s Day consider a Catholic gift for her that shows to your wife and my children how much you love both her and your faith. Here are just a few Catholic gifts for her which could be perfect for your wife this Valentine’s Day.

Heart Cross Pendant

This Heart Cross Pendant is a cross made of hearts which typically is found in beautiful white gold. My wife enjoys jewelry and especially jewelry which reminds her of the love from both God and myself.

Amazing Grace for Married Couples by Jeff Cavins, Matthew Pinto, and Patti Armstrong

If your wife is a book reader, even casual or infrequent, then this book could be one of the perfect Catholic gifts for her. This book is part of a series of Amazing Grace books that tell marvelous stories which encourage and challenge all of us. This book tells the stories of many marriages which were on the rocks but were able to bounce back tremendously despite all of their struggles. This book offers hope to all married couples and challenges all of us to step up in our marriages to make them the wonderful relationship we know they can be. Your wife will surely have your ear with these stories and this book could lead to some great late-night or dinner-time conversations.

Pearls of Mary Rosary

The Pearls of Mary Rosary is a stunning rosary many women have fallen in love with over the years. This rosary is gold-plated  and is surrounded by pearl glass beads. If your wife loves praying the rosary and could use a new one, then this might be the perfect gift. This rosary is just one example of many that your wife might absolutely adore.

Madonna and Child Statue

The Madonna and child statue is one of the most beautiful representations of the greatest mother and wife to have ever lived. If your wife has a great love for her spiritual mother, Mary the Mother of God, then your wife might absolutely love the Madonna and Child Statue.

St. Francis Garden Statue

A St. Francis garden statue might be just the gift your wife with the green thumb would love. These statues are beautiful and also serve as a birdfeeder. If your wife has the gardening touch and needs some beautiful statues to decorate and bless her garden then this statue could make just the right gift.

These are just a few Catholic gifts for her which you could consider for this Valentine’s Day. You know your wife much better than anyone and you know what works for her and what she appreciates. Surprising her with a Catholic gift this Valentine’s Day such as these could show your love for her and Christ as well as encourage her in her faith journey. Your children will also see the importance both you and your wife put on each other and God through these precious gifts.

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Mark Shea and I talk about a trend we have seen among Catholics who prefer the Tridentine Latin Mass that claim the Novus Ordo is wicked or has bad fruits. Later in the show, I get Mark’s take on the recent mandate by the Obama administration that will force Catholic employers to provide insurance coverage for contraceptives and abortifacients.

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You can find more of Mark Shea at Catholic and Enjoying It on Patheos.

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Photo credit: Brendan Hoffman/Getty Images

This was kind of exciting so I had to share it with you. CBS Washington published a despicable photo spread of the March For Life in which only pro-choice demonstrators were shown instead of the 400,000 pro-life marchers. The resulting hue and outcry from pro-lifers was swift and terrible, flooding the comment boxes and grabbing the attention of other media outlets.

This story got picked up by Steven Greydanus at the National Catholic Register and others. The collective pressure got CBS Washington to update their photo spread to include pictures of pro-lifers. We CAN make a difference!

Although criticism of CBS’s original photo gallery ranged far and wide, the earliest whistleblower I’m aware of was the blog Wynken, Blynken and Nod, [Hey, that's me! -ed.] which commented early Tuesday. I reported on W. B. Nod’s comments later that day, and my own comments (and Nod’s) were picked up by Matthew Balan of NewsBusters. Later that evening, Al Kresta posted on the story.

Yesterday, the story spread as Jill Stanek and LifeSiteNews picked up on it. Earlier today, the issue hit The Washington Times, the Washington Examiner and Get Religion.

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Every Body Matters
Gary Thomas
Zondervan
ISBN 9780310290810

This book completely blew me away. It was an amazing read. I think it should be in every church library and on every pastor’s desk. It is a wakeup call to all Christians that we are body, mind and spirit and that in order to love and serve God to the best of our abilities we need to be nurturing and looking after all three areas of our life. Back when I was a student involved with Campus Ministries, I heard a talk that stated the human body is a like a car with three gas tanks – one physical, one spiritual and one intellectual and if any of the three run out of gas then the engine will have problems and not run well. This book brings to light the fact that Christianity often focuses only on the two and it is something that is costing us – it costs us in our witness, in our effectiveness and in our possible length of service to Jesus Christ.

This book is a series of examples from Gary’s life and from a number of case studies. Another great strength of the book is the variety of examples and sources Gary uses to make his point. However this book is not a diet book, it is not a fitness guide, it is not a ‘How to’ this book is the theological argument for why we should look after and even work at improving or strengthening the body that God has given us. Now this book is not Catholic but it is a great Christian book and draws heavily from Church Fathers and throughout the Catholic Tradition for it’s examples.

Gary Thomas in quoting Elton Trueblood states: “Angels .?.?. are pure spirits without bodily needs, but men are not pure spirits. Men are combinations of body and mind and spirit, uniting in a working partnership both hand and brain. They thus have a variety of temptations and any valid religion will be frankly concerned with all of these.” Thomas draws heavily from Christian traditions, from the saints of the church, from monastic movements and even almost a whole chapter focused around a movement called Muscular Christianity. Thomas states: “Socrates himself was a hardy figure, a physically fit former infantry soldier in the Athenian army. He recognized that all exercise and no study creates only half a man, just as all study and no exercise also creates half a man – in this case an effeminate, soft, overly sensitive man who isn’t tough enough to address real life.” That is what we need today, men and women who are fit physically so that they can be of greater service spiritually. Thomas has even paraphrased one of the Proverbs as a commentary on the form Christianity currently has slid into for the most part.

“Proverbs talks about fields, but you could apply this to just about any aspect of human existence:

I went past the field of a sluggard, past the vineyard of someone who has no sense; thorns had come up everywhere, the ground was covered with weeds, and the stone wall was in ruins. I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw: A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest – and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.” Proverbs 24:30 – 34

Today’s version might read as follows: I went past the body of a sluggard, past the body of someone who has no sense. His cholesterol was killing him from within; his high blood pressure was a tinderbox waiting to explode. His breath was labored, and he could barely move without breaking into a sweat. He said he had no time to exercise or to prepare healthier meals, but he lost hours going to the doctor and much money buying medicines to treat the symptoms rather than attack the disease. I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw: A little sleep, a little softness, a life of overindulgence – and ill health will come on you like a thief and frailty like an armed man.

Over time, laziness, like excessive eating, has a way of outing itself.”

Gary Thomas draws for a number of modern sources to reinforce his points and arguments. He says:

“What so many in the church don’t see is that this physical battle has spiritual roots. Dr. Ed Young writes:

‘Satan not only wants to suffocate your spiritual heart, he will do whatever he can to take away your physical heart. Jesus labeled the devil a “murderer”
(John 8:44). Satan is out to cause your physical death if he possibly can. Why does Satan want you physically dead? Because it would bring an abrupt end to your loving care for others, and the whole purpose to which God has called you. With you out of the way, he has eliminated a key person God wants to use to touch your family members, your neighbors, your friends, and others in your circle of influence’.

Dr. Young goes on: ‘How can [Satan] get rid of you? Well, he knows you’re too smart to fall for the temptation to jump off a bridge, throw yourself in front of a speeding train, or drink a bottle of cyanide.?.?.?. Remember: he’s a con artist. He wants to trick you into doing his bidding, to cause you to think it’s not too bad.
So he just might suggest more acceptable behaviors that could eventually gain him the same result, behaviors that will negatively affect your health.
If this is true – and it makes sense – Satan may attempt to ruin one man’s ministry by luring him into a financial trap that will ultimately become a crime and thus wreck his business and his reputation; he may attempt to ruin a woman by gradually filling her mind with thoughts of fantasy toward a coworker and thoughts of malice toward her husband so that she is weakened and enters into an immoral affair. And he may get others to eat one too many bacon cheeseburgers without any corresponding exercise, and take them out that way. He doesn’t care what brings our ministry to an end; he just wants it to end’.”

All the while, Thomas writes the book around a series of case studies or examples, different people who have made changes to their lifestyle and fitness levels and have noticed a greater relationship with God and with those in their life. It has lead to a greater testimony. He drives home the point that we have been bought at a price and we are not our own. “Do today’s Christians have any sense that our bodies don’t belong to us? That caring for our bodies – eating appropriately, getting sufficient exercise – isn’t a matter of what we’re willing to live with but is rather a matter of discipleship and obedience?” Are we willing to head his warning and learn to become obedient in all areas of our lives, not just the spiritual ones? In quoting Dr. Cooper, Thomas declares: “Even more, I saw the spiritual side of this very physical issue. Dr. Cooper writes: ‘The food you eat and the liquids you drink are a proper subject for prayer. After all, they can play a major role in your spiritual and emotional life and may be decisive in determining how well and energetic you feel – and how effectively you are able to accomplish your daily tasks.’ All of us are like the aging athlete whose skills are slightly diminishing with every passing year. In our youth, we can get away with sloppy habits, but that day ends more quickly than most of us realize. And the longer it takes us to realize it, the bigger the health and illness hole we dig ourselves into. Eating habits aren’t easy to break. It is far easier not to fall into such patterns in the first place. Younger readers, please take note: anyone over thirty will tell you it is far, far easier to keep weight off than to lose it.” This book was an incredible read. It was a challenge to me to find greater balance between body, mind and spirit. I have recommended it to over a dozen people. Give it a try and maybe you too will find greater physical health and vitality and through that, even greater spiritual discipline. You have nothing to lose except maybe a few pounds and bad habits, and you have lots to gain!

Books by Gary Thomas:

Authentic Faith
Every Body Matters
The Glorious Pursuit
Holy Available
Pure Pleasure
Sacred Influence
Sacred Marriage
Sacred Marriage Gift Edition
Devotions for a Sacred Marriage
Sacred Parenting
Devotions for Sacred Parenting
Sacred Pathways
Simply Sacred
Thirsting for God

(First Published on Book Reviews and More.)

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Like most dioceses in the United States, if not the world, my own is working to provide a response and pastoral approach to the problem of pornography at every level. Pornography is not just the stag movies, the infamous magazines and the unmentionable internet sites. It also includes a good number of the romance novels, primetime television shows and commercials. If you wanted to argue the point, I guess we would most likely be arguing over degree not content. The fact is that the hyper-sexual media has been desensitizing us for years. My wife and I were reflecting yesterday on the effect it has on women and men. In fact, she reminded me that the issue is really a cultural crisis concerning beauty, and, more precisely, the beauty of women.

Dove® in 2004, release began the Dove® Campaign for Real Beauty. The goal was to assist in re-defining how girls view the beauty of women. It wanted to help girls see that the Barbie/Paris Hilton/Super-model look was not only unrealistic but unhealthy. I think the most impressive piece the campaign generated was the Dove Evolutions commercial demonstrating how a “plain” person is transformed into a super-model for a billboard (Dove Evolution). The effort it takes to put a person in print or on television is enormous and nowhere near to how the rest of the world lives. While these visual aids are great, they do not approach the heart of the matter.

I believe that the cancer at the heart of this matter is two-fold. The first issue is related to how we define beauty. The Hellenists would tell us that beauty is the manifestation of truth and goodness revealing itself together. One might say that it is a mutual exchange of the intellect and will that culminates in the outward expression we call beauty. Let’s face it. We were built to be attracted to those things that please the eye. The problem is that the eye was supposed to be able to perceive more than just the outward appearance but truth and goodness radiating through. I am sure it is this beauty that many saw in the short and wrinkled sun-scorched skin of the little Armenian nun from Calcutta.

If the first issue deals with what we see then the second deals with a sort of blindness. Every person wants to experience the “I see you” moment. Do you remember the first time your spouse or significant other noticed you! I’m sure that it was exhilarating! Do you remember the first time you discovered that even though you were talking and standing right in from of another person, they did not see you?

We do everything we may these days in order to be seen but on our terms. And yet, we shoot ourselves in the foot through fashion and all the accoutrements that we use to draw attention to ourselves. Net result? We tend to draw attention to specific qualities and not the person. Let’s be honest. What purpose does a plunging neckline have other than to say “Hello!!! Look here!”

If we want to be seen we need the virtue of modesty. Modesty in dress is the best we can give to the other and still be seen. Now, before everyone objects, I am not suggesting burkas. I am, however, suggesting that there is a wisdom in dressing simply in order to draw attention to one’s face.

We are only now discovering the effect to the culture and the damage sustained to our understanding of beauty which has been caused by the use of pornography. What we do know is that it deadens the heart and causes us to seek after a quick fix and perfects the ability to use other people. Recovery time for those looking to shake the addiction? A minimum of 45 to 60 days. Here are some quick stats, not to end on a low note but to fire-you-up and incite a righteous anger in oder for you to make a difference in the culture:

The average teenager spends 3-4 hours per day watching television and 83% of the programming most frequently watched contains some sexual content.  (Gary Rose, CEO of The Medical Institute 2005)

42% of all searches on file-to-file sharing systems at American universities involved child or adult pornography. The study also found that 73% of movie searches were for pornography, 24% percent of image searches were for child pornography. (April 1, 2003 – Des Moines Register)

According to sociologist Jill Manning, the research indicates pornography consumption is associated with the following six trends, among others:

• Increased marital distress, and risk of separation and divorce
• Decreased marital intimacy and sexual satisfaction
• Infidelity
• Increased appetite for more graphic types of pornography and sexual activity associated with abusive, illegal or unsafe practices
• Devaluation of monogamy, marriage and child rearing
• An increasing number of people struggling with compulsive and addictive sexual behavior

According to the Journal of Adolescent Health, prolonged exposure to pornography as a teenager leads to:

• An exaggerated perception of sexual activity in society
• Diminished trust between intimate couples
• The abandonment of the hope of sexual monogamy
• Belief that promiscuity is the natural state
• Belief that abstinence and sexual inactivity are unhealthy
• Cynicism about love or the need for affection between sexual partners
• Belief that marriage is sexually confining
• Lack of attraction to family and child-raising

Dads, it is time to stand up and be counted. I can speak for all of us when I say, I don’t want this for my kids. Who is with me?

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My wife’s grandmother Kay has been in the hospital since Friday. Since then, her condition has changed from day to day and sometimes from hour to hour. It has taken a turn for the worse over night, and the family was summoned to the hospital this morning.

We would appreciate your prayers should God be calling her home.

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Tending the Temple
Dr. Kevin Vost
Shane Kapler
Peggy Bowes
Bezalel Books
ISBN 9781936453009

I have read a number of daily devotional books by such authors as Oswald Chambers, John Eldredge, and Billy Graham, but there are not that many quality ones written by, or specifically for, Catholics. Of those that are, the only one I have used more than once is In Conversation with God by Francis Fernandez Carvajal, and it is 6 plus pages per day. This one will be reread each day for the next few years, maybe even longer. In the intro, the authors state that each month has a special dedication in the church. They are:

January: Holy Name of Jesus
February: Holy Family
March: St. Joseph
April: Blessed Sacrament
May: Mary
June: Sacred Heart
July: Precious Blood
August: Immaculate Heart of Mary
September: Our Lady of Sorrows
October: Rosary
November: Holy Souls in Purgatory
December: Immaculate Conception

This book is a devotional for body, mind and spirit. Christ stated that he came that we might have life and have it abundantly. I have always believed that God wants us to be whole – of sound body, sound mind and sound spirit. I personally, after 10 years in Campus ministry as a student, volunteer and staff, found that too many people, too many ministries and too many churches only focus on the spirit or spirit and mind, and let the body slide. This book is intended to help bring about a more balanced approach to life.

Each day we have a quote from the bible and/or a Saint of the church, a reflection and an exercise. This book was amazing and I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to grown in one of those three areas and especially for those who seek balance in their life. There is much in this book we can apply to our personal life and I know that with each rereading, new things and new practices will come up and as we grow, a deeper level of devotion. Awesome book. Thanks Kevin, Shane and Peggy.

Books by Dr. Kevin Vost:
Tending the Temple
From Atheism to Catholicism
Unearthing Your Ten Talents
Fit For Eternal Life
Memorize the Faith!
Full Range of Motive

Author profile interview with Dr. Kevin Vost.

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Last week, like most dads, I spent a great deal of time with the kids looking for that perfect gift for Mom – at every store in Northern Virginia. We always take in the sights. You know, looking at all the festive sweatshirts, drinking some peppermint coco, admiring the decorations, seeing in-the-flesh exploitation of barely legal men and women marketing expensive clothes. Wait, you didn’t have that same experience?

While we were shopping at Fair Oaks mall, standing in the doorway of Abercrombie & Fitch (A&F) were two scanty-clad barely young adults. Now, being that I am the Director for Child Protection and Safety for the Diocese of Arlington, my first instinct and question concerned the ages of the young men and women modeling the latest A&F fashion. To A&F’s credit, they were over 18 Does 18 count as young adult?

The problem is that the young man in just a bathing suit and young woman in a mini/micro skirt were “selling it.” First of all: Dude! It was 30 degrees outside and really, you’re no Chris Hemworth! And young lady, with your skimpy clothes, were the pig-tails and lollipop really necessary – gives the wrong impression (Okay, let’s give the benefit of the doubt to A&F)? Have I ever mentioned that I used to be the Executive Director of Exodus Youth Services which was a 501(c)3 organization dedicated to working with the poorest of the poor in Washington, DC? Why mention this? Well, I worked with a number of ladies of the evening and their….supervisors. They wore more clothes. Even in the summer.

What was A&F selling? Not clothes. The exploitation of these young men and women was saddening. A few years ago, one of the young adults I know was targeted for recruitment based on her very thin, blond, blue-eyed appearance. She is pretty but my question to her was this, “If you are concerned  about men viewing and treating you as an object, why take a job that requires for them not to see you the person?” Her reply, “It’s good money and I am broke.” Ugh!

As I have mentioned in the past, this side of glory, we need a certain amount of clothing so that we are able to see the person not just their body. We are an integrated whole in which the material or exterior is designed to reveal the spiritual or interior. My inside voice, it wanted to ask the Manager on duty if the person came with the clothing. But alas, temperance and a prudential judgment overtook me…and probably saved my job.

What does this say about a society that in which the retail stores need to sell kids in order to generate a sale? Do not get me wrong, A&F has always been in trouble concerning this issue. I just never thought I would have a live mannequin in my neighborhood.

Best line ever of that evening? My seven year looks at the young man and woman and says, “That’s dumb! Aren’t they cold? Hope Santa brings them some clothes.”

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The conclusion of my interview with Jimmy Akin.

Was Jesus born in a stable? Jimmy tells us why that may not have been the case.

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