Catholic Dads

When hard times hit, what should you tell your kids?

By Linda Shrieves
10/1/2008
McClatchy Newspapers (www.mctdirect.com)

The Orlando Sentinel (MCT) – Beware of what you say to kids.

When a parent says, “We can’t afford to eat that,” sometimes kids magnify that statement and imagine: “We can’t afford to eat!” Instead, tell them that the family needs to cut back on expenses and will be pickier about what you buy.

Put a positive spin on a bad situation by encouraging the family to work together to cut costs.

“It can be something that pulls a family together if they do it wisely,” says Dr. Marci Alessi, a psychologist in Winter Park, Fla. “The key is not to alarm kids, but to say, ‘We need everyone’s help.’”

If you’re worried about losing the house or having to move out of state for another job, keep it to yourself until you’re sure the move is coming. “It’s important for parents to insulate their kids from the severity of it until it becomes definite,” Alessi said. “Then you can tell them we’re definitely moving out. We have to find a smaller house.”

But she urges parents to remain calm _ because it will help the children cope with the change too.

Show kids that they can help, which will give them a feeling of control.

For instance, encourage the kids to look for ways to save money _ by borrowing DVDs from the public library instead of renting them, or saving electricity by turning out lights. Encourage them to think about how much money your family saves when you eat at home instead of eating out.

Try not to argue about money in front of the kids. “The first thing that kids think is that the parents are going to get divorced,” says Dr. George Schulz, a Winter Springs, Fla., psychologist. Instead, he suggests that parents reassure the children that they’ll be fine. “I would talk to the kids and tell them, ‘Sometimes in life, things don’t work out the way you think, but we’re a family and we’re going to stick together,’” he said.

If you’re worried about losing the house or having to move out of state for another job, keep it to yourself until you’re sure the move is coming. “It’s important for parents to insulate their kids from the severity of it until it becomes definite,” Alessi said. “Then you can tell them we’re definitely moving out. We have to find a smaller house.”

But she urges parents to remain calm _ because it will help the children cope with the change too.

___

© 2008, The Orlando Sentinel (Fla.).

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