Catholic Dads

The best of both worlds

January 23rd, 2009

While surfing the net, I read blogs about people figuring out if God is calling them in a special & exclusive way. I always leave an encouraging comment because they have nothing to lose & everything to gain in my opinion. I am a former religious & the seminary experience is still & will always be a vibrant part of me.

I entered the seminary after high school though I wanted to enter earlier. In view of eternity, every career pales in comparison. But after the first year, I felt uneasy. I confided my doubts to my spiritual director but he encouraged me to persevere year after year. But by the end of my 9th year of temporary vows, I had to make them “perpetually” or leave – per canon law.

Though I kept my vows faithfully, I do not have the “moral certainty” that I can be celibate for life meaning I know I can do it for 3 years but I seriously doubt whether I can last for life. I am sure about the other vows – poverty & obedience, but not with chastity. So, I bailed. I did want to make a promise & take it back – especially to God. It was hard starting over. I did not have a sweetie waiting with open arms. It took 12 years before I even met her.

I have marriage vows now & I know I can keep those. I speak highly of religious life & the priesthood to my children in case God wants to call them later.

One does not need to be sure about God’s call to enter the seminary. Seminary comes from “semen” meaning seed – the seed of God’s call. The seed needs a protective environment initially lest the birds (the spiritual enemy) eat it or the weeds of worldly cares strangle it. Then one eases into religious life with yearly then triennial vows. And if one would realize that God’s call is elsewhere, then it’s still a good thing to have given God the benefit of the doubt; because, God can never be outdone in generosity.

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