The Sons of LarryD are stricken with a disease – it’s not life-threatening, mind you. It’s pandemic, but not contagious. It’s neither debilitating nor incapacitating.
It’s just really really frustrating.
I’m talking about Liturgical Laryngitis. You can set your clock to when it strikes, and you can guess rather accurately as to when the symptoms disappear. Sure, there are occasions when it fades away during Mass, for a sentence or two – such as “Dad, tell him to stop kicking me!”; or “Is Mass almost over?”; or “Do you have to sing every verse of the recessional?” Other than that, though, their vocal chords remain as silent as Zechariah while waiting for John to be born.
Our Father? I think I see the lips move, but it could just be labored breathing. The Creed? Head bobs and half-closed eyes. The Gloria? Forget it, double if it’s being sung. Even the Kiss of Peace comes out as a barely audible “Pb-wi-u”.
All this despite the occasional subtle elbow nudge, usually met with a surprised glance and an expression that says “What’d I do??”
“I can’t hear you,” I mention quickly during a pause in the Lamb of God.
“I’m sayin’ it!” is the defensive response. Yeah, the laryngitis lifted just enough for four syllables.
I’ve explained to them that it’s important to respond audibly because we are worshipping as a community, and as such, we ought to participate. I’ve said many times that speaking the words reinforces their meaning, and helps us to better believe and better understand. “Yeah, but God hears us,” they have said. True enough, but he’s put me in charge. And I have the car keys. Talk or walk.
Thinly veiled threats aside, it is head-bangingly frustrating to get them to project their voices during the responses and prayers. I’m not pushing the envelope in having them sing the hymns. Yet. What makes it so frustrating is that these are the same kids who will shout a conversation with one another, while one is in the basement on the PS2 and the other is two floors higher in his bedroom. These are the same kids who have had shrieking contests. These are the same boys who mimic Steve Perry and actually reach the glass-shattering, canine-eardrum-shattering high notes.
But get them to Mass, and they’re transformed into Marcel Marceau’s.
This past Sunday at Mass, though, I witnessed…or rather heard…something that is giving me hope, however slight, that the older Son of LarryD (he’s 13) might be growing out of this.
He was actually singing the responsorial psalm. I said nothing. I avoided eye contact like the plague. I gave no hint that I recognized his voice, joining mine in singing. I know how embarrassing it is for a teen son to know that his dad heard him sing in church – better to pretend it never happened.
Besides, God heard him.
(this post is cross-posted at Acts Of The Apostasy)
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I wouldn't get hung up on getting the kids to pray out loud. After all, this type of vocal participation by the laity is pretty new in the tradition of the Church. It certainly seems to suit some, but not everybody. Silent prayer has a long and noble tradition within the Church, and some of us internalise better like that.
Count your blessings. My two autistic boys attend Mass with us every Sunday. In our church it's customary for the congregation to say the rosary 1/2 hour before Mass begins. My five year old is very enthusiastic but slightly scatterbrained. He starts off, "Hail Mary, full of grace the Lord is with thee" (at this point the crucifix above the altar gets his attention) "Hey Momma, look it's Jesus Momma! Jesus and his booboos Momma! Blessed art thou amongst women, the booboos Mamnma, Jesus has booboos!" And on and on…His four year old brother remains silent until Mass starts. From then on, every time the congregation says, "Amen" he'll follow up with his own very loud "AMEN!!!"So far everyone takes it with more or less good humor. Hey, at least they're trying!
Great post! "but he's put me in charge. And I have the car keys. Talk or walk." Very funny, and nice to know that my kids aren't the only ones. I agree with Ben's point about silent prayer. In the old form of the mass, there was not much for the congregation to say. People would even pray the rosary or meditate silently while they waited patiently for their turn to receive communion. But in the new mass, which I like very much when celebrated reverently and when accompanied by good music, there are lots of responses for us, and I think it's only right to expect our kids to say the words. It's about obedience, if nothing else.