As of today, I am a parent of a teenager.
She is a sweet girl, but I have already noticed changes.
I have a couple requests from my fellow parents.
What should I expect?
What advice do you have?
Thanks!
![[del.icio.us]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/delicious.png)
![[Digg]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/digg.png)
![[Facebook]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/facebook.png)
![[Google]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/google.png)
![[LinkedIn]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/linkedin.png)
![[Reddit]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/reddit.png)
![[StumbleUpon]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/stumbleupon.png)
![[Technorati]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/technorati.png)
![[Twitter]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/twitter.png)
![[Yahoo!]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/yahoo.png)
![[Email]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/email.png)
Parent of a Teenager
September 6th, 2009
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Congrats for making it this far!
I'm not there yet, but I've read a ton of good reviews about Dr. Meg Meeker's Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters. Might be worth a look.
1. Rebellion. It's not about you, it's about her asserting her individuality.
2. Peer group has the most influence.
3. St. John Bosco taught, "Like what the youth likes and they will like what you like."
1] She will grow closer to her mother and more distant from you.
2] Make sure that she feels she can confide in her mother without it getting back to you.
My teenage son is TOTALLY frank with me when we talk because he knows it is just between the two of us and his relationship with his mother is better for it. On the other hand, as a teenager my oldest daughter always thought that anything she told to mom would get back to me, and so it is only in the last year or so that they have become close once again.
My daughter is only two years old, but as Jason hinted, Meeker's book is FANTASTIC. It's a must read for any father of a daughter. I see many fathers who are struggling to raise daughters who could benefit tremendously from reading it.
Sorry Rob, I'm just as interested in the answers as you!
You daughter may grow more distant from her mother. I remember seeing my cousin fight more with her mother as a teenager than any other time. My wife describes the same thing. A number of women have shared this with me as well. I have also heard from fathers that they frequently play the role of mediator.
I was given a book when my daughter was born, "Father to Daughter: Life Lessons on Raising a Girl" by Harry H. Harrison Jr. Although my daughter is nowhere near a teenager, it looks to be good advice. Here are a couple that jumped out at me for teenage girls.
1. Once she begins to develop physically, don't pull away from her.
(Comment: She is going to be self-conscious about her body. Don't add to it by withdrawing).
2. Talk to her often about decision-making and sex. About peer pressure, about love, about romance, about God. You never know when it will be the thing she needs to hear.
3. Be prepared to hear that she hates her mother. Be firm and insistent about the need for respect.
4. Spend family time together. Be involved. Volunteer for the car pool.
Another from familyfacts.org
5. Attend church with her weekly.
These last two are especially important. Teenage girls whose fathers are involved (and live in the home) are less likely to drop out of high school, be sexually active, get pregnant, or use alcohol and drugs.
Another study showed that children of parents who attend church show higher cognitive skills than children whose parents don't attend church. Church makes your kids smart.
One final thought from Harry Harrison, "Remember, when you're dealing with a 13-year old girl, for all intents and purposes you're dealing with a fruitcake."