Kids usually say whatever is on their minds; the trouble is understanding what they are really thinking.
Case in point: Wynken came home from school and asked for the umpteenth time for us to buy him his own Nintendo DS game console. Rather than rehash our reasons for why we haven’t done so, Mrs. Nod noted that Wynken was a bit upset and probed a little deeper into what was up.
As it turns out, the kids on the bus have been excluding him from playing the collaborative games even when he borrows a DS from another kid. Wynken’s rationale was if only he had his own DS and was good at the games, then the other kids wouldn’t exclude him. Of course, as a parent we know that isn’t the case at all: it wasn’t his ability or lack of ability on the games — they were excluding him. Bullying doesn’t stop unless hearts change.
Since he goes to a Catholic school, we called the administration and got that little problem nipped in the bud. We’ve learned the hard way that we have to aggressively defend our kids and keep people accountable for their actions. We’ve got the behavior changed, but we’ll still be praying for their hearts.
Second case: Nod-girl came up to me, apropos of nothing, and says: “I’d miss you if you left.” I said, “Thanks, sweetheart, but where am I going? I go to work every day.” She responded, “Liam’s Daddy left them and now he lives in a different state.”
Turns out her classmate’s parents are divorced, but she didn’t know the word for it. Now this happens more than it should, but it does happen and that’s a reality in our society. (Actually I’m very proud in a weird way that my kids have never heard of divorce.) I did my very best to reassure her that Mom and Dad would never, never get divorced, that as practicing Catholics divorce was not an option, that Daddy would always be there for her and never leave her. We then had a nice discussion on why it’s so important to choose your (Catholic) husband or wife very carefully, since it is “forever”.
So kids say things all the time, but it’s worth your while to figure out what they’re thinking.
Cross posted at: Wynken, Blynken, and Nod
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Nod,
Very nice… it is important for kids to know their parents will always be together and why… and choosing the right mate is vital…
I too often shrug off their concerns about stuff as inconsequencial… finding out why they are upset is important, thanks for showing me to think twice now…
and we watched a kids movie the other day, shot during the depression… the girl's dad had to leave town to find work and they all cried… at that point, my daughter came over and sat right in my lap saying she never wanted me to leave to find work elsewhere…
Thanks,
Patrick
Touching. And a little scary, to think how we're going to need to protect ours later — especially if at a public school.
I'm concerned about my kids growing up in a world in which being raised in a family by a mother and father who are married (only once) to each other is the rare exception.
I guess I'm concerned about a lot of the things in this world and how they will effect my children. How do we walk the line of protecting my children and nurturing both their innocence and maturation process while still preparing them to be faithful in a world of such opposition to Christ?
This reminds me of a conversation my wife had with another home-schooling father who was bragging about how much he could shelter his kids. We were both kind of put off by that concept. And while we still think that our job is to prepare them in a loving and caring manner, the balance in knowing what and when to reveal to our children is a subject of discernment.
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