Comments on: Involved, or not http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/posts/3150/involved-or-not/ Because we need all the help we can get Wed, 08 Feb 2012 16:43:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Will http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/posts/3150/involved-or-not/#comment-6678 Will Fri, 22 Jan 2010 02:38:00 +0000 http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/?p=3150#comment-6678 Let me be clear: I'm nowhere saying my wife and I are interchangeable parents. I *am* saying I have something to contribute other than force, intimidation, and rules. Play is an example of that. Comforting is another. My wife comforts him by taking him to bed and snuggling him. I comfort him by walking around the house with him, or by playing with him (taking his mind off whatever it is). What a shame, if she had to do it all! What a greater shame, if he could never feel the connection of being held by a father! So many children grow up with a big aching hole, from having no father present with them, either literally or emotionally. Let's not let that happen. Let me be clear: I'm nowhere saying my wife and I are interchangeable parents. I *am* saying I have something to contribute other than force, intimidation, and rules.

Play is an example of that.

Comforting is another. My wife comforts him by taking him to bed and snuggling him. I comfort him by walking around the house with him, or by playing with him (taking his mind off whatever it is). What a shame, if she had to do it all! What a greater shame, if he could never feel the connection of being held by a father! So many children grow up with a big aching hole, from having no father present with them, either literally or emotionally. Let's not let that happen.

]]> By: Rob Kaiser http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/posts/3150/involved-or-not/#comment-6664 Rob Kaiser Thu, 21 Jan 2010 06:36:06 +0000 http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/?p=3150#comment-6664 But at times and for certain issues, the Dad's role IS a supporting one. At other times, the Mom's role is a supporting role. Each family strikes their own balances on responsibilities, but what a father offers and teaches is distinct from a mother. If it isn't that deprives the child. In terms of emotions, for example, mothers teach calming and emotion regulation. They are typically the initial parent sought when children are distressed. Fathers will teach emotion stimulation and excitement (Dad's are more often involved in rough & tumble play). I also heard Bishop Sheen give an interesting example of how mothers and fathers represent different aspects of God. Mothers represent God's mercy and fathers God's justice. Not that both aren't involved in both mercy and justice, but that there is a correlation. I think that is profound. Yes, fathers are extremely important - but not just as male mother. But at times and for certain issues, the Dad's role IS a supporting one. At other times, the Mom's role is a supporting role.

Each family strikes their own balances on responsibilities, but what a father offers and teaches is distinct from a mother. If it isn't that deprives the child.

In terms of emotions, for example, mothers teach calming and emotion regulation. They are typically the initial parent sought when children are distressed. Fathers will teach emotion stimulation and excitement (Dad's are more often involved in rough & tumble play).

I also heard Bishop Sheen give an interesting example of how mothers and fathers represent different aspects of God. Mothers represent God's mercy and fathers God's justice. Not that both aren't involved in both mercy and justice, but that there is a correlation.

I think that is profound. Yes, fathers are extremely important – but not just as male mother.

]]> By: semperjase http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/posts/3150/involved-or-not/#comment-6658 semperjase Wed, 20 Jan 2010 22:50:40 +0000 http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/?p=3150#comment-6658 Very true Rob. I agree with Will that Dad's should be involved, but that is not to say we don't see the importance of moms. I think we all understand that the importance of moms is universally understood. It is Dads that are all too frequently considered superfluous. Very true Rob. I agree with Will that Dad's should be involved, but that is not to say we don't see the importance of moms. I think we all understand that the importance of moms is universally understood.

It is Dads that are all too frequently considered superfluous.

]]> By: Rob Kaiser http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/posts/3150/involved-or-not/#comment-6587 Rob Kaiser Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:39:27 +0000 http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/?p=3150#comment-6587 It is important to remember, though, that dads and moms are not interchangeable. Mom's have something unique to give their children other than their being a different person. So do Dad's. I agree that we are not to be hands off, and we are more than moral support, but we are not moms, and moms are not dads. It is important to remember, though, that dads and moms are not interchangeable. Mom's have something unique to give their children other than their being a different person. So do Dad's. I agree that we are not to be hands off, and we are more than moral support, but we are not moms, and moms are not dads.

]]> By: Mike http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/posts/3150/involved-or-not/#comment-6586 Mike Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:22:08 +0000 http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/?p=3150#comment-6586 Thanks! I also read that "women naturally know what to do" article. Men are not genetically inferior at raising or nurturing children, maybe culturally, but I dont believe that we just need to be a heavy in anyones lives, especially our kids. Thanks! I also read that "women naturally know what to do" article. Men are not genetically inferior at raising or nurturing children, maybe culturally, but I dont believe that we just need to be a heavy in anyones lives, especially our kids.

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