Catholic Dads

God the Father, or just the father?

February 7th, 2010

You’ve probably heard before a topic I heard at church last night: that the way you think of God the Father has a lot to do with the way you think of your earthly father. Was your father neglectful? Then, until you learn better, you may think of God as distant. Did he rage? Was he violent? Then you may fear God’s wrath and fail to grasp his mercy. Etc.

As I heard this, I watched my baby boy Liam, and wondered what he would say if he were in a conversation about this, years from now.

For one thing, I need to be careful about him hearing me yell. Last night, driving with just him and me, I made a loud noise. He was in the back, but still, he went from being fussy about being in the back by himself into his hah-hah-hah I’m-so-upset-I-can’t-wait-to-take-a-breath wail. He didn’t used to react much to things outside himself; now he does — progress, but it means I have to watch out for (for example) sneezing, shouting, or other things that are too loud.

For another, I’ve already decided, when I go by the living room and he smiles and wants me to come in, I must come in for a moment at least. I don’t want him to feel unloved. And I recognize that that’s how I felt; I must not pass it on.

And this morning, I did play with him just before leaving, and kissed Marisa and left, and he cried. What’s up with that, me not waving and saying “bye-bye”? I thought he’d cry less if he didn’t notice. He thought he’d cry less if I said goodbye. He’s getting more aware. How could I be so dismissive?

When they were talking last night about this principle (thinking of God the way you thought about your father), I tried not to laugh out loud. Because all I could think was, in 20 years, Liam will be having this conversation, and will say, “It’s the strangest thing — but sometimes I can almost hear God speaking to me. And He’s saying, ‘Are you one of those poopy babies?’”

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