So far I have spent some time in these posts on serious stuff: time and priorities, and discipline. And I started there on purpose: getting priorities right is so important.
But now I want to strike a lighter note, but still, in a sense, serious. Because I believe one of the key things to do if you want to keep your kids Catholic is make it fun.
I try to make sure that my kids have more fun than their friends. Thus something that could seem negative (like having no TV) can be turned into something positive: we play family games together some evenings; we read bedtime stories to the (younger) kids and so on.
Both at the daily level of enjoying themselves, and at the longer term level of seeing life from a positive point of view, I think this is an important part of their formation. And one result is, their friends like coming to our place as there’s always something fun going on.
As a kid, I was encouraged to attend a club run by Opus Dei. I think my parents hoped I would join (which I didn’t). But I think that club got a lot right: we had a huge amount of fun – and interwoven with that was spiritual formation: benediction at the end of the day, for example, and a meditation in the Oratory. And I think I owe a lot to that formation. Because I learned that life, for a Catholic, is a great adventure.
There will be highs and lows, of course, just as in any great adventure. But the underlying message is that there will be a happy ending – though not necessarily on this side of the grave.
Of course, that is a level of understanding we only reached as we grew older: at first the fun predominated; and rightly so. As kids we need to learn that the structure of life is that stories have happy endings. And as Catholic kids we need to learn that our adventure is both exciting and worthwhile.
There’s no Opus Dei club near us, so we have to provide the kids with adventure enough ourselves. So we encourage them to walk, cycle, climb trees, build tree houses, create dens, play imaginary games, and so on. This not only builds confidence and strong relationships between them, but also provides a lot of learning. Overall it is good fun, but there are also the inevitable bumps and scrapes, and those are certainly part of the learning.
Because life is not always easy, and how we cope with the mishaps is often a defining part of our development. So I want them to learn that early and relatively easily with trivial things, like stings and bruises; and then we graduate to progressively more difficult things.
But always the developing understanding is that any adventure worthy of the name will include some struggles, and that courage, fortitude, and above all hope, are virtues worth cultivating.
One other thing that really feeds this is reading them, or encouraging them to read, really good fiction. By that I don’t just mean the obvious (Lewis, Tolkien and so on) but also any great romances where a heroic and virtuous struggle against mounting difficulties or evil results eventually in a happy ending. For that is the fundamental world view I want to offer them, to help them when the struggle is the struggle for their Faith.
So here’s a challenge for you: how can you help your kids develop the sense of life as an exciting adventure, with dragons and demons to escape, and a happy ending that stretches out into eternity…?
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Great post! We like to camp in the backyard, roast marshmallows, go swimming, or go for walks in the evening after dinner. We try to take our kids on errands with us. It's amazing how much they talk about these family adventures. Now granted, this stuff is more work than just letting them turn on the TV or video games, but it's all worth it.
The Opus Dei club practice you mention was also the practice of St. John Bosco. He would perform magic tricks and tell stories to the young boys he befriended, always making them "pay" for their fun by listening to some stories about the faith or some catechism. We do this sometimes, combining fun and faith (or at least linking them). For example, we might plan a visit to the library and include a short visit to the Blessed Sacrament, as the two are close together.
For great adventure reading, we give our kids various bios on the saints. Who can argue with the adventure in the story of St. Thomas a Becket or the sheer awesomeness of the life of Padre Pio?
It's good, too, to remind them that we are here to know, love, and serve God (and others) and that there is no heroism without service. A hero – by its very definition – is a man or woman of action.
Great topic!
Thanks for the comments – and it’s always interesting to learn how others are making it fun.
I think we can really engage the energy and commitment of our kids if we get the balance of challenge, fun, adventure and faith right.