Welcome back to As For Me And My House (Jos 24:15), the place where the rubber meets the road. You can subscribe directly to this series here.
==========================
They say that duct tape isn’t a valid parenting style. My question is: have they ever had a 3 year old? I have, and I question this wisdom.
Nib is our impish 3 year-old little girl. She is the size of a pixie and as clever as a fox. She runs and skips around the house taking delight in every little thing. Most of what she does is unbearably cute, and she’ll tell you so. “I cute!”
But then there are times … oh, yes, there are times …
Raising a 3 year old is designed to make you think twice. Three year-olds are my least favorite age. People talk about the “terrible twos” as a trying age. Terrible twos – are you kidding me? All a two-year old knows how to do is say “No!” and then laugh and run away. No, no — 3 year-olds are wicked. Little Miss Independent determined to work her own will. They will push the boundary as far as they can get away with it.
They say that 7 is the “age of reason”. I repeat: have they ever met a 3 year-old?! These kids are reasoning, they’re just not reasonable. Actually it would be more fair to say that they are scheming.
They look right at you, wait for you to be watching them, and then inch over to that vase they’re not supposed to touch. “No touch”, you say in a gentle but warning tone. They look down. They look up. An evil look passes over their face as they realize they can now get your goat. Smash! All the ability and none of the impulse control – that’s a 3 year-old.
Three is also the year of the temper tantrum. By this time they’ve figured out all your buttons to push and what will get the biggest reactions. How someone so small can make such a loud ruckus is beyond me. Nib’s latest development is to lose all powers of speech. She will come up to us whining and crying for something but won’t say what it is. Normally she speaks very well; right now, just to annoy us it’s just a wall of sound which gets louder and louder until you guess what it is.
Why does God give us such creatures? Why can’t they go from being two directly to being four? It would be a lot easier.
But God knew what He was doing; he made the little children both cute and helpless. You develop all that store of goodwill via pheromones, chemical bonding, nurturing, protecting — so they have some capital to spend as they get older. Those big eyes, that awkward gait, the funny sayings. It blunts your temper until you are a big mass of quivering parental goo ready to nurture and protect again.
It is precisely all of the day-to-day, humdrum, unpleasant business of being a parent mixed with the unexpected delights, joys, laughter, love, and enthusiasm of a child that creates such powerful bonds between parents and children. Children need us to cater to their needs and desires because they cannot do it for themselves, nor can they distinguish the one from the other. Changing dirty diapers? You’re building relationship. Up all night with a fussy child? You’re building relationship. Tickle fights, afternoons at the park, reading books, laughing at their jokes, showing up for the soccer game and piano recital — all these things are crucial to building up the trust and security that your child is going to need to be a fully functioning and emotionally secure adult.
It’s a two-way street. As a Dad, there is nothing better than to come home at the end of the day to the joy of your children. “Daddy’s home!” Running and hugging and smiles all around. It can turn a sour day into a mere unpleasant memory quickly forgotten. Who are these poor souls out there who “choose” not to have children? Their poverty is of the soul, mine merely of the wallet. And there is absolutely nothing better than the unbridled enthusiasm of a 3 year-old clinging to your leg with all her small might in adulation.
“I cute, Daddy!” Yes, and it’s a good thing too; this is why parents don’t eat their young.
========================
Your 3-year old survival stories in the combox below …
![[del.icio.us]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/delicious.png)
![[Digg]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/digg.png)
![[Facebook]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/facebook.png)
![[Google]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/google.png)
![[LinkedIn]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/linkedin.png)
![[Reddit]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/reddit.png)
![[StumbleUpon]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/stumbleupon.png)
![[Technorati]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/technorati.png)
![[Twitter]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/twitter.png)
![[Yahoo!]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/yahoo.png)
![[Email]](http://www.catholicdadsonline.org/wp-content/plugins/bookmarkify/email.png)
The one I currently have at 3 years is not quite as mischievous as that, but my second child was – and my 1 year old already is (and it is scary). When my son was 3, I he figured a way to unlock a gate that I had trouble with and took off down the street without our knowing. Thank God indeed for neighbors who know who you and your children are!
Can a mom comment?
I have a 3 1/2 year old girl with Down syndrome–the light of our lives, and a constant test of faith. The thing I find so amazing about developmental delay is that somehow, you expect it to be more or less even across the board. Not so. She has all the 3 1/2 year old behavior & emotional understanding that you talk about–as well as the cute factor–but without the capacity to communicate. Or toilet. Or dress herself. On so many levels, she's 15 months old. Except that darned 3 1/2 year old attitude!!!
We have a three-year-old girl. Enough said.
Moms are ALWAYS welcome to comment.