Originally posted on Sunday, March 18, 2007

Reason For His Absence

He never said a word to us as he went through his life.
He left that to the other folks, especially his wife.

His actions, a model for the married man’s vocation:
keep still, work hard, love the wife, silence is your salvation.

His role in this life was to guard the greatest things on earth:
his beloved wife and Child – Jesus of the Virgin Birth.

He cared so well for his loved ones without a hint of pride,
perhaps that’s why he died before his son was crucified.

For no father would just stand by and watch his son in pain,
no man could stand the sight of a beloved being slain.

For sure he would have been old and gray, wrinkled face and hand,
but years of toil and sacrifice still edified the man.

For him the thought of flight was wrong unless he had his son.
Then all Gethsemane could get to see an old man run.

The hands that once wielded wood and hammer, saw, plane and ax,
Would have not hung limp, as the soldiers scourged his child’s back.

His voice would ring out loud and clear as one above the din,
while all the world ungratefully thundered “crucify him!”

The path He took to Golgotha, to Calvary, the skull,
would have been blocked by his father, although the road was full.

At the cross the carpenter would not have remained so calm
to see his precious child take a nail in every palm.

None of these things ever happened, I dare to venture why:
Heavenly Father knew Joseph would not let Jesus die

For no father would just stand by and watch his son in pain,
No man could stand the sight of a beloved being slain.

But this Man was the Son of God, and died on Calvary,
through His Passion and His Death sent here to set us all free.

SMD
3.18.2007

More »

Dear brothers:

Today I received a letter from a friend; we are the Godparents for one of their daughters. My friend stated that he and his family were leaving the Catholic Church to join the Anglican Church.

I let him know that as a Godfather I could not let this decision pass without comment. I reminded him that my responsibility was to teach the Faith to my God-daughter in the event that her parents were not able to do so. I consider this scenario to be one of the worse ones under which I must fulfill my obligation.

I requested that my friend give his reasons for leaving Holy Mother Church, and I made an initial reply to his letter. I consider this the beginning of what may be a long dialogue.

I request your advice, but more importantly I ask – beg – for your prayers as I take on this task.

Thank you for your advice and prayers in advance. I may print some of my letters on my blog after removing any identifying marks.

Stephen M. Donahue

More »

Carolyn was arranging some flowers we had just bought from Costco.

“I want you to always have fresh flowers in the house,” I murmured in her ear as she removed some of the extra greenery from the roses.

“The most beautiful bouquet a mother can have is her children surrounding her,” she replied.

“True, but sometimes they don’t smell as good as these roses.”

“Especially those teenage boys,” she said.

Costco-Style Romance

Love on a Budget – a helpful hint for the frugal romantic male:

The next time you are in Costco with your wife, pick a bunch of flowers; even better, have her pick them out.

Let her admire them for a while before handing them to the youngest child with you – so he or she can hold on to them for Mommy.

Invariably, said youngest child will set them down and forget the flowers – probably while sampling gourmet meatballs.

Check out when shopping is complete. When you get home, suddenly remember that the flowers must have been left behind. You score points for picking out flowers, and save money by not buying flowers!

It is a WIN-WIN situation!

More »

I recently baptized an infant before he died, and the experience made me pull up some of the teachings of the Catholic Church on infant baptism to review in the event anyone questioned me on this incident.

First of all, I asked for the permission of the infant’s father beforehand. I was blessed with the opportunity to speak with him shortly before it was obvious that the child would not survive.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church can be accessed online at this website. It has a search engine attached to it, so one can browse the whole document and dive into the text at will.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church(from here on referred to as CCC) discusses baptism in paragraphs 1213 to 1284. The word baptize comes from the Greek word baptizein, which means to “plunge” or “immerse”; the “plunge” into the water symbolizes the catechumen’s burial into Christ’s death, from which he rises up by resurrection with him, as “a new creature.” (CCC 1214)

The CCC gives several examples of the prefigurement of the sacrament of Baptism found in the Old Testament. Noah and the Ark show life starting over after washing away sin, and the Israelites crossing the Red Sea prefigure the liberation from the slavery of sin through baptism. Later, the baptism is prefigured when the Israelites cross over the Jordan to enter the promised land; entering the promised land is symbolic of entry into Heaven. (CCC 1217-1222; they write it far better than I do)

I recall reading somewhere that St. John the Baptist, when he was baptizing in the River Jordan, was baptizing on the ‘far’ side of the river, so that those who were baptized had to cross back over the Jordan, just as the Israelites did in the Old Testament. This brings up the most important reason for baptism: Jesus Himself insisted on it before starting his ministry.

Baptism of infants is brought up in paragraphs 1250 to 1252, and the main sentences which motivated me are highlighted below. I saw a chance to bring this infant to become a child of God, and I did not think anyone would be able to get to the child before he died.

1250 Born with a fallen human nature and tainted by original sin, children also have need of the new birth in Baptism to be freed from the power of darkness and brought into the realm of the freedom of the children of God, to which all men are called. The sheer gratuitousness of the grace of salvation is particularly manifest in infant Baptism. The Church and the parents would deny a child the priceless grace of becoming a child of God were they not to confer Baptism shortly after birth.

1251 Christian parents will recognize that this practice also accords with their role as nurturers of the life that God has entrusted to them.

1252 The practice of infant Baptism is an immemorial tradition of the Church. There is explicit testimony to this practice from the second century on, and it is quite possible that, from the beginning of the apostolic preaching, when whole “households” received baptism, infants may also have been baptized.

How to Baptize:

There are two things needed for the sacrament: one is water to pour over the head(preferably) of the patient; the other is to say the words of baptism while pouring the water three times over the head of the patient. The words of baptism are: “N., I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

When I realized that things were going downhill fast, I turned to one of the nurse anesthetists (CRNA) who was working with me, and asked her to get me some water from the scrub sink. She pointed to a small bowl of water on top of the anesthesia cart. “I got you covered, Doc,” she said.

As a footnote, by some miracle, we were able to get this child back to his mother and father, and they were able to hold their son as he died. It was heartwrenching and difficult to talk to the young couple, but I did manage to tell them that their son had been baptized. The experience brought back a flood of memories of losing Theodore, and the desolation which accompanied that loss. The pained expression I saw on the face of this young couple reminded me of the way Carolyn looked after Theodore died.

More »

I don’t post much stuff on this blog, but I thought I would post a link to a note I wrote about our 20th wedding anniversary.

More »

A few videos of our afternoon adventures. One of Yours Truly, one of Noisykid #5.

This is a .20 caliber pellet air rifle. The target is about 10 paces, or 30 feet from the shooting site.

This air rifle is made by RWS Diana, and is powered by compressed air. The mechanism for compressing the air is called a side lever. By pulling the lever all the way back, and placing a pellet into the chamber, air is ready for release when the trigger is pulled.

Let us watch Noisykid #5 first:

Note the safe handling of the weapon, with no finger on the trigger until ready to shoot.

Now join me after I loaded the weapon:

My shot is rather unimpressive after watching Noisykid #5 blow his target away.

This is one of the things I enjoy doing with the boys and girls(the younger ones, at least).

Cross-posted on my own blog.

More »

To those of you who sent messages of condolence, prayers, and Masses following the death of my son Theodore,

Thank you!

The past two months have been filled with a combination of sorrow and consolation for our whole family. In so many ways, Theodore’s death has been the occasion for an outpouring of grace upon our family as well as our extended family and friends. One of the greatest gifts we have received is a new baby on the way, due in January!

Still, there are days that are filled with sadness, such as today when I stopped at a monument company to inquire about purchasing a gravestone or marker for Theodore’s grave site. It still seems so wrong to be buying a gravestone for a child of mine.

I sometimes wonder what Theodore would tell me, if he were allowed to say anything to me. I imagine he would tell me to love his brothers and sisters more than I loved him, for their time with me is so fleeting, and their destination requires all the prayers and sacrifices I can give to them.

Seriously, RobK did send me an e-mail asking me to contribute more to the blog; it was more of a generic ‘you don’t contribute much and we’d like to hear from you more’ kind of message, but it did prompt me to stop staring at my navel and write something tonight.

Theodore’s picture of Divine Mercy at the Airfield

More »

Here is a book I reviewed a while ago.

Cry, the Beloved Country is about a lot of things, but for me the kicker is the relationships between the fathers and the sons.

More »

I wrote a blog about the joyful and sorrowful events of this past weekend which I thought might be worth sharing:

There are certain things which occur in life which cannot be blogged; they are too intense or personal to be shared with you, the reader. Despite this, I shall make an attempt to describe some of the events of this past weekend.

This past week has been one emotional moment following another. But along with all the pain and sorrow, lack of sleep, tears, laughter, and joy, there has been an overwhelming sense of being covered, or rather drenched by the grace of God.

Beginning of Eternal Life

Friday we became godparents for a little baby girl. We were honored to be asked, and we promised we would pray for her for the rest of our lives – even afterwards, actually. While we made our promise to assist in the raising of this little girl in the Faith, it was good to recall what we are obligated to do for our own children.

Little did I know that another couple would have to fulfill the most important obligation to their newborn daughter the next day.

This is only a TEST

On Saturday my oldest son, Histor the Wise, took his SAT test. While he did not appear nervous, I had butterflies in my stomach as I drove him to the local high school. I was especially nervous because our children are home schooled, and they are not used to taking multiple choice tests. So I fretted until I dropped him off, and I had to fight the urge to stay with him – even though I knew I would not be allowed into the testing center. Ultimately I had to leave him, to let him find his own way into the building and to experience the first of many formal exams.

This is not the first time I have had to let our children go, but it is one of the milestones which reminds me how much they are growing and are soon to make their own ways in the world.

When I picked him up at the end of the test, he said, “I was well prepared.” I hope and pray that we are preparing our children just as well for all the other challenges that they will face in life, especially the spiritual challenges.

Beginning of Eternal Life, Again

On Saturday, I had the opportunity to hold a Saint.

A friend of ours gave birth to a very special and beautiful child. This child had been diagnosed with a lethal condition by prenatal ultrasound. Multiple follow-up exams confirmed that the child had a serious condition, and various experts were consulted in the management of the pregnancy. Throughout this, our friends refused to consider aborting this baby. Instead, they prayed that the baby would be born healthy, and if that were not possible, that she would live long enough to receive the waters of baptism.

God is merciful and generous beyond our dreams. Our friends’ youngest child was born and did have the medical condition seen on ultrasound. Her time on this earth was short, but was culminated by the answer to so many prayers; she was baptized by her father, then held by her parents for the minutes she remained alive. Her siblings arrived shortly after she died, and were able to hold her and look upon her. One of them said, “she is beautiful – let’s take her home.” God took her home instead, and she is now among the saints.

That evening, my wife and I were asked to come up and visit with the couple and their new saint. We therefore had the honor of holding the body of a child who lived for such a short time, but lived as an example of the sanctity of life regardless of any handicap or defect. The parents of this child wished for her what we all wish for all of our children: that they become saints. We thank God for allowing her to live to be baptized, and pray for the mother, father, brothers, and sisters of this new saint as they mourn the loss of their little baby.

This blog has been painful to write, and thinking of the sorrowful parts of this weekend fills my heart with sadness. But this sorrow comes with a joyful awareness of how much we are truly members of the Mystical Body of Christ. That phrase is not just a sentimental buzz word or slogan. No. We all share in the joys and sufferings of our brothers and sisters, and in our case, two families blessed us by letting us come close to them in one of the most intimate aspects of their lives: the raising of children. The realization of this is so powerful that it is difficult for me to put it into words. Is it any wonder that my weekend blogs consisted of such silly nonsense?

It is my prayer that, like Histor the Wise said after the SAT test, all of our children will say at the end of their lives, “I was well prepared for my life.” Along with that, I hope and pray that we all take the example of our friends, who prayed for their child unceasingly, and when action was needed for the benefit of her eternal soul, and by the grace of God, did the right thing to secure for her life everlasting.

More »

I posted this on my blog, but thought it would apply in response to an earlier blog entry about children dating. Children should follow St. Anthony’s advice before seeking a mate.

BE SATISFIED WITH ME

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.

But to a Christian, God says, “No, not until you are satisfied,
Fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me.
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship with me alone.
Discovering that only in me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship,
That I have planned for you.
You will never be united to another
Until you are united with me.

Exclusive of anyone or anything else.
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.
I want you to stop planning, to stop wishing, and allow me to give you
The most thrilling plan existing . . . one you cannot imagine.

I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am.
Keep listening and learning the things that I tell you.
Just wait, that’s all. Don’t be anxious, don’t worry
Don’t look around at things others have gotten
Or that I have given them
Don’t look around at the things you think you want,
Just keep looking off and away up to me,
Or you’ll miss what I want to show you.

And then, when you’re ready, I’ll surprise you with a love
Far more wonderful than you could dream of.
You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready,
I am working even at this moment
To have both of you ready at the same time.
Until you are both satisfied exclusively with me

And the life I’ve prepared for you,
You won’t be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me.
And this is perfect love.

And, dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love.
I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me.
And to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union
Of beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with Myself.

Know that I love you utterly.
For I am God. Believe it and be satisfied.

~ St. Anthony of Padua

More »