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By DavidofOz on January 31st, 2010 | Category: Family Life, Parenting
Big Brothers are Great
We had a guest the other night joining us for dinner. After the meal when the children were cleaning up and washing dishes, our guest asked, “Don’t your children fight?”
Lana and I looked at each other and pondered.
“Not really,” we replied, “They have occasional disagreements but these get sorted out pretty quickly.”
“Don’t they yell or scream at each other?” our guest asked in amazement.
“Rarely, but we stomped on that behaviour very early on and now they have learned appropriate conflict resolution skills. Also, when the children fight over something – a toy, a game or anything – we will get the object in dispute and tell them ‘If this is causing you to fight, we don’t want this thing in our home’ and then throw it in the bin. Pretty quickly the children learned that it wasn’t worth fighting over ‘stuff’”
“Hmm,” he said, sitting back and watching the children singing off key – but loudly – and obviously enjoying themselves while they were cleaning up.
That is one advantage of homeschooling. Rather than being thrown into the school jungle with no direct adult supervision, they are able to learn from adults when the problems occur, as memories are fresh and actions are obvious and not distorted by time and emotion. Of course, the pressure is on Lana and I to grow up too, which was probably the hardest part. We can’t expect them to follow appropriate problem resolution techniques if we are squabbling over stupid little things.
“Ahh, but what about when they get in the ‘real’ world? How about then huh?”
We actually believe
By DavidofOz on June 8th, 2008 | Category: Uncategorized
 As I was lying in bed the other morning, in that half aware state between being asleep and awake, I was pondering how I would change my life going back with what I know now.
But I kept getting stuck on a paradox. Every mistake that I tried to rectify would jeopardise the really good things that happened. The unlikely circumstances that led to my meeting and marrying my wife were too extraordinary to come about through planning of my part. By knowing and loving the Faith as I do now, I would have been unlikely to have met my wife. If we had done the wiser things financially, I wouldn’t have learnt what I now know and probably wouldn’t have ended up in the lovely country place we now enjoy.
It seems that God really does draw straight from Point A to Point B using crooked lines.
Then yesterday I was pondering life in front of the Blessed Sacrament giving thanks to God for all the blessings He has given me. We have come to realise that stable two parent families are not in the majority – neither here in Australia, our parish or in the US when we lived there. Even at the local parish with an attached “Catholic” school, only a minority of the children attend Mass and even less do so with both parents. We often make up half the children present.
With all the dopey things Lana and I did and thought along the way, how did we end up where we are today?
“There but for the Grace of God go I.”
When we explain to the children the better way of
By DavidofOz on February 2nd, 2008 | Category: Uncategorized
 We recently had a fun time at a local park which has just refurbished their playground. There were ducks to feed, tadpoles to watch, things to climb and spinning things to, well, spin on.
The children really enjoy spending time together and we enjoy spending time with them. This seems to be such a counter cultural experience. When I announce we are going to have a “Family Day” all the children’s eyes light up and they look forward to whatever we are hoping to do – read out loud, go to a park, picnic, watch a movie, play cards, walk in the bush, whatever.
So often we are told that we are risking our children’s isolation and stunting their “socialisation” – whatever that is meant to mean. Yet, if socialisation is helping the children form an important part of society, I can’t think of a better way than raising healthy, well adjusted adults who actually enjoy their parents and siblings. All the concerns about “socialisation” seem to be based on mythical cases and theoretical situations as the reality is that healthy families – homeschooled or institutional schooled – are much better prepared for the realities of the adult world in which we live. One day all children need to shake off the artificial boundaries of school aged years and confront the world around us. Some can do it younger, others delay the reckoning till their 20′s, 30′s or even 40′s.
We either pay now or pay later in all things we do. We have found that “paying” now in terms of time spent with the family is providing solid returns as the years
By DavidofOz on November 17th, 2007 | Category: Uncategorized
Lana and I are celebrating our 18th wedding anniversary. We had planned a special dinner for all of us and a few other special activities. But this will all have to wait a week or so as the vagaries of family life have intervened in our plans.
Eric (11yo Son) has some stomach bug which has kept him close to the toilet for the last few days but he was the only one and no one else looked off colour. Then it stormed beautifully yesterday and all the children went playing in the rain. Unfortunately Ariel (16yo Daughter) slipped and twisted her ankle so we had to rush out into the rain and bring her in and tend to her injuries. She is not as small as she used to be!
Then last night Clare (6yo daughter) came into our bedroom at 2am and said she wasn’t feeling well.
“Go to the toilet!” we instantly instructed her and I leapt out of bed and carried her in the right direction. Almost! She exploded about 1 foot in front of the toilet. When she had finished we washed her up and settled her back into her bed. I cleaned up the toilet and parts of the bathroom. Lana is still tired as Martin (7 mths old son) is getting more teeth and not sleeping well.
At 3am Clare woke up again and didn’t even make it out of her bed. So this time Lana and I both got up, replacing bedding and settling Clare down. At 4:30 am she once more awoke, but this time used the
By DavidofOz on September 23rd, 2007 | Category: Miscellaneous Last year I was asked what Dads do at homeschool camps and I will answer the question again this year. Dads get involved in the organisation, talks, sports and everything else as homeschooling is a family affair, not just Mum’s job.
At the beach the Dads typically act as beach patrol, calling the children back to safer areas. One of the dads has a really penetrating whistle which the children could hear above the waves. Every time they drifted too far away he would whistle, they would look and we would wave our hands getting them back near us. Also, after a long time at the beach, the littler ones found walking on the sand path a bit too tiring so they wanted to be carried. Here is one dad carrying Rose and his daughter back to the camp. (Click the photo for a closer view)
 There were a number of talks and catechetical activities organised and the priests asked that the Dads to listen in to the talks for older children. (That’s me by the door while Father gives his talk).
One of the best activities for the fathers was the night we had a men’s talk and the ladies had their own. We all gathered in one of the halls with a cup of coffee or some dry biscuits and followed an agenda. The discussion was great with each of the dads giving their perspectives on raising children in today’s world. By 10pm we stopped and
By DavidofOz on September 1st, 2007 | Category: Miscellaneous It has been two weeks since our daughter, Ariel, (16) started working full time at the local village store. She had been working there for two hours each morning for the last four months sorting the mail and assisting with the morning duties when a marvellous opportunity arose. The local TAFE (similar to Community College) offers a Retail training course – which is like an apprenticeship – for young people working in the retail industry. So our daughter is effectively working as an apprentice at a great place only a five minute walk from home.
Naturally, she has been pretty tired, as all adults can remember when they first started working. She is doing very well and the owner, Mr J (Pictured), is getting her involved in all aspects of the business.
Mr J is very clever in getting Ariel involved even when she tries a number of stratagems to hopefully avoid some of the responsibility.
One day Ariel informed Mr J that some more pies were needed. He suggested Ariel call the supplier, but she “didn’t get around to it”. Later, she once more told him more pies were needed. So he rang the pie supplier and said to the lady, “Ariel is an apprentice here and she is going to order some pies but she is a little bit shy.”
While he was talking, Ariel was saying “NO NO NO” in the background.
He then said to the lady, “Here she is,” and passed the phone to Ariel.
Ariel took the phone and she could hear the lady laughing. Ariel finally said softly, “Hello” and the lady replied, “I hear you are going
By DavidofOz on June 27th, 2007 | Category: Uncategorized
Domenico posted on this same topic yesterday, and I had to put in my bit too!
 Gerald of The Cafeteria is Closed asked the question “What’s so great about children?” There are lots of comments (64 at last count) but I thought the question deserved an answer here.
I have always looked at these type of “Meaning of Life” questions in the same way I solve business issues at my clients. Take a step back, strip out the answers such as “But we have always done it that way!” and do a Chesterton type examination.
By the way, you can’t really plan children. You can certainly say “No”, but you can’t guarantee children will arrive by saying “Yes”.
Anyway the benefits of children depend greatly on the manner in which you accept them. If you treat them as a burden or expense and focus on the ways they cramp your lifestyle, take away your freedom and give very little return for all the trouble you have taken – then they aren’t great at all. This is basically the so-called Devil’s Advocate position Gerald posited in his post. But it’s all rubbish.
Let’s use the same arguments with a new car.
Why bother with a new car? It just costs money, fuel is so expensive and smelly, it gets dirty and you have to clean it, the expense is constant even if you don’t use it with taxes and fees, there’s no more together time as you are driving everywhere, you lose fitness rather than walking, you have to park it somewhere. And once it gets too
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