Father to Father is a regular feature, usually appearing each Wednesday, examining what the Church, through the office of the Pope, is saying to us fathers. You can subscribe to the newsfeed here.

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I live in a decent house. I have enough food to eat. In almost all things I lack nothing.
The same could be said by a great deal of people in developed countries, most especially those in the position to make decisions about other people’s lives.

What is lacking in many cases — and we can see this many times in government decisions — is the gift of wisdom.

As we continue with Blessed Pope John Paul II’s apostolic exhortation Familiaris Consortio, the Holy Father calls us to become wise in order to safeguard the family.

The following words of the Second Vatican Council can therefore be applied to the problems of the family: “Our era needs such wisdom more than bygone ages if the discoveries made by man are to be further humanized. For the future of the world stands in peril unless wiser people are forthcoming.

The family is directly threatened by scientific discoveries and technological advancements that do not respect the human person or the natural law.

Wiser people are needed.

But how to become wise?

Pray for it. St. James tells us how and Solomon leads by example.

One of things I know I should pray for with greater earnestness and frequency is a healthy dose of wisdom for my wife and kids. And, perhaps even more importantly, a desire on their part to become wiser.

I can see how this desire for wisdom will lead to a renewed covenant with God, as we promise to do His will as He enlightens us and makes more of His glory known.

The impact is sure to reach beyond each family, then.

Modern culture must be led to a more profoundly restored covenant with divine Wisdom….And it is only in faithfulness to this covenant that the families of today will be in a position to influence positively the building of a more just and fraternal world.

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Father to Father is a weekly feature, appearing each Wednesday, examining what the Church, through the office of the Pope, is saying to us fathers. You can subscribe to the newsfeed here.

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One of the things my wife and I have noticed in the last few years is the large number of married couples, including Catholics, in which each person views themselves as an individual only slightly connected to the other.

Their lives seem so separate that neither knows nor understands what the other is doing!

As we continue with Blessed Pope John Paul II’s apostolic exhortation Familiaris Consortio, we are confronted with some of the serious challenges facing the family, with this “mistaken concept of independence” listed first among the many.

As a prelude to an explanation of God’s plan for marriage and family, the Holy Father points out the good and the bad facing married people today:

On the one hand, in fact, there is a more lively awareness of personal freedom and greater attention to the quality of interpersonal relationships in marriage, to promoting the dignity of women, to responsible procreation, to the education of children.

There is also an awareness of the need for the development of interfamily relationships, for reciprocal spiritual and material assistance, the rediscovery of the ecclesial mission proper to the family and its responsibility for the building of a more just society.

On the other hand, however, signs are not lacking of a disturbing degradation of some fundamental values: a mistaken theoretical and practical concept of the independence of the spouses in relation to each other; serious misconceptions regarding the relationship of authority between parents and children; the concrete difficulties that the family itself experiences in the transmission of values; the growing number of divorces; the scourge of abortion; the ever more frequent recourse to sterilization; the appearance of a truly contraceptive mentality.

I am certain the prominent placement of the problem with spousal independence is not a fluke.

It is as if personal freedom not rightly ordered in marriage is the beginning of a slippery slope, the bottom of which contains contraception, abortion, and divorce.

No doubt that all of us struggle with how much of ourselves we must give away and compromise in order to live the sacrament the way God intended for us and for our salvation.

But this is not about deciding who chooses what to watch on TV.

Instead, this is having the personal freedom to pry ourselves away from the things that bind us and devote more of our time and energy to the development of the union God blessed us with.

Addictions, obsessions, misguided intentions all have the ability to affect our personal freedom for the worst.

How to orient that personal freedom for what is best?

One way which works for me is to pray an aspiration a friend once shared:

Lord, may I love my wife with the love with which You love her

How about you?

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Father to Father is a weekly feature, appearing each Wednesday, examining what the Church, through the office of the Pope, is saying to us fathers. You can subscribe to the newsfeed here.

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Recently, its seems as if every town, city, state, and country in North America, Europe, and beyond, has taken to assaulting the foundations of natural marriage.

In light of this onslaught, you could not be blamed if you felt a sense of helplessness and despair.

I often find myself struggling with the thought that this is too much to tackle, that we are too small to offer a good defence.

Yet, as we continue with Blessed Pope John Paul II’s apostolic exhortation Familiaris Consortio, we are told that we “can and should” do more to “unpack” the beauty of God’s meaning for marriage.

Christian spouses and parents can and should offer their unique and irreplaceable contribution to the elaboration of an authentic evangelical discernment in the various situations and cultures in which men and women live their marriage and their family life. They are qualified for this role by their charism or specific gift, the gift of the sacrament of matrimony.

The sacrament itself confers on us a special gift: to teach about the marriage!

It amazes me how many gifts the sacrament of marriages presents to us.

In this instance, we have been qualified to make known, even elaborate, on what marriage can be in this culture.

So what’s my lesson plan:

1. Joy. Always show the joy that is a marriage well lived, even if there may be struggles.

2. Discretion. No one gains from constant self-deprecation. As we are one with our spouses, complaints voiced about the other is a complaint against the self.

Anything to add?

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Father to Father is a weekly feature, appearing each Wednesday, examining what the Church, through the office of the Pope, is saying to us fathers. You can subscribe to the newsfeed here.

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When I got married, I had hopes for my marriage. I hoped we would be happy and have many children and live together a long time. So far so good!

But I don’t think I had hope for marriage in general, at least not that I can recall.

Today, we continue with Blessed Pope John Paul II’s apostolic exhortation Familiaris Consortio and we explore the Church’s understanding about this hope for marriage.

In the opening paragraphs, we read

The Church is deeply convinced that only by the acceptance of the Gospel are the hopes that man legitimately places in marriage and in the family capable of being fulfilled.

It was not until long after I was married, even now, that I am able to appreciate that I place great hope in marriage, for what it can do for me and my family and my society and for the salvation of souls.

I am dismayed when I hear about the assaults on natural marriage.

I desparately hope that society shakes itself from this licentiousness and regains control of its will power and it moral integrity.

And I do not think that hope will not be in vain… if we follow closely the convictions of the Church expressed by the Holy Father.

“Acceptance of the Gospel”, not just by us, but by all of society, is what will change the hearts and minds of those opposed to proper marriage (whether they support unnatural unions or contraceptive unions or divorce).

What increases that hope is the knowledge that I can assist in that acceptance if I do my apostolate well, living a Christian life that resonates with those around me and compels them to seek the joy that I possess.

So the goal this week is simple: show everyone what Christian joy is… and help strengthen marriage!

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Father to Father is a weekly feature, appearing each Wednesday, examining what the Church, through the office of the Pope, is saying to us fathers. You can subscribe to the newsfeed here.

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I am sure the vast majority of us pray with our children.

It could be grace before and after meals or a morning offering or three Hail Marys before bed.

These are all good.

However, on his recent visit to Croatia – where he celebrated Mass on the occasion of the National Day of Croatian Catholic – the Holy Father said something challenging in his homily.

Dear parents, commit yourselves always to teach your children to pray, and pray with them;

The challenging part, I found, was the commitment to always teach the children to pray.

For sure we have introduced certain prayers, helping them to memorize the words. And we look for opportunities to pray and speak with the Lord throughout the day.

But a commitment to always teach?

It seems like the Holy Father is challenging us to go beyond the normal catechesis and to work towards a “spiritual direction” for our children, where we help them perfect (as much as we can, imperfect as we are!) their prayer lives.

If so, then praying with our children also has be praying individually with our children, something that happens with less frequency around our house.

What do you think?

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Father to Father is a weekly feature, appearing each Wednesday, examining what the Church, through the office of the Pope, is saying to us fathers. You can subscribe to the newsfeed here.

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It is probably no surprise that this week I am returning to the writings of Blessed Pope John Paul II.

As one of the longest serving popes, he wrote extensively. And he wrote often about the family and fatherhood.

Previously, we have examined his Letter to Families and his apostolic exhortation on St. Joseph, the foster father of the Lord.

Today, we start an in-depth read of one of the holy father’s longest pieces, his apostolic exhortation Familiaris Consortio, on the role of the Christian family in the modern world.

In a way, this piece of papal writing is geared specifically to us…

Knowing that marriage and the family constitute one of the most precious of human values, the Church wishes to speak and offer her help to those who are already aware of the value of marriage and the family and seek to live it faithfully

That’s one of the goals, right?

As the exhortation begins, we get the big picture: marriage works best when paired with the good news.

The Church is deeply convinced that only by the acceptance of the Gospel are the hopes that man legitimately places in marriage and in the family capable of being fulfilled.

I accept the Gospel. But how do I connect it to my marriage? Worth contemplating this week.

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Father to Father is a weekly feature, appearing each Wednesday, examining what the Church, through the office of the Pope, is saying to us fathers. You can subscribe to the newsfeed here.

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One of the things a good father does is allow his children to speak their minds (respectfully, of course), especially when those children are experiencing sadness and sorrow.

Earlier this month, the Holy Father spent some time in conversation with the astronauts aboard the international space station.

He asked about, then listened to the response of, an Italian astronaut grieving the recent death of his mother.

My last question is for Paolo. Dear Paolo, I know that your Mother passed away recently and that when you get back home in a few days she will not be there to greet you. We are all close to you in your loss, and I personally have prayed for her. How did you cope with this sorrowful time? In your space station, do you feel alone, separated and cut off, or do you feel united among yourselves and part of a community that accompanies you with attention and affection?

Holy Father, I’ve felt your prayers, your prayers even now: it’s true, we are away from this world, orbiting around the earth and having a vantage-point of looking upon the earth and feeling all that’s happening on it. My colleagues here aboard the station — Dimitri, Kelly, Ron, Alexander and Andrei — have been close in this important, very intense, time for me, just as my siblings, my aunts, cousins and relatives were close to my mother in her last moments. I’m grateful for all this. I’ve felt myself far, but also very close, and surely the thought of feeling all you close to me, closely united in this moment, has been an extreme comfort. I also thank the European and American space agencies which made their resources available so I could talk to my mother in her last hours alive.

His question is beautiful, as is the response.

It made me realize that – though I may recognize my children’s suffering – I do not always respond the way the Holy Father did.

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Father to Father is a weekly feature, appearing each Wednesday, examining what the Church, through the office of the Pope, is saying to us fathers. You can subscribe to the newsfeed here.

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Most celebrities these days have bodyguards.

You see them towering above the tiny teen and young adult frames of their employers.

A sad commentary, really, on our disordered desire to be close to these manufactured idols.

Yet, you cannot begrudge the celebrities. They have a genuine need for protection.

We, too, have that need.

Today, as we conclude our examination of Blessed Pope John Paul II’s Apostolic Exhortation Redemptoris Custos, we read how the Pope commends the entire Church to St. Joseph’s protection.

Explaining how the Church, since the time of Pope Leo XIII, has been exhorted to call upon the foster father of Christ, he continues…

Since that time[...]the Church has implored the protection of St. Joseph on the basis of “that sacred bond of charity which united him to the Immaculate Virgin Mother of God,” and the Church has commended to Joseph all of her cares, including those dangers which threaten the human family.

St. Joseph protects against something we, as fathers, care deeply about: “those dangers that threaten the human family”.

The human family is beseiged by easy divorce, pornography, contraception, materialism, and sheer laziness, to name only a few dangers.

The defense? For many of us, it is often a self-reliant counter-attack.

The thought? If we are disgusted enough, we can beat back the devil, the world, and the flesh.

But that is not always true. In fact, our individual efforts nearly always fall short.

A better plan would be to “go to Joseph”, who led the child Jesus out of danger and to the safety of Egypt.

This week, I plan on seeking the protection of St. Joseph.

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Father to Father is a weekly feature, appearing each Wednesday, examining what the Church, through the office of the Pope, is saying to us fathers. You can subscribe to the newsfeed here.

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Many of us have patron saints.

Some are related to our baptismal or confirmation names; others we’ve adopted as circumstances and spirituality have dictated.

Today, as we continue our examination of Blessed Pope John Paul II’s Apostolic Exhortation Redemptoris Custos, we read how the Holy Father is inviting us to invoke St. Joseph’s patronage, for ourselves and the entire Church.

This patronage must be invoked as ever necessary for the Church, not only as a defense against all dangers, but also, and indeed primarily, as an impetus for her renewed commitment to evangelization in the world and to re-evangelization in those lands and nations where – as I wrote in the Apostolic Exhortation Christideles Laici – “religion and the Christian life were formerly flourishing and…are now put to a hard test.”

As a father and a worker, I find great comfort and assistance when turning to St. Joseph.

I have a small statue of him placed on my desk at work and another that I keep in my laptop bag for when I am working elsewhere.

I look to him with affection and trust for help with my daily duties, at home and at work.

But now, thanks to Blessed Pope John Paul II, I can gaze at him with another petition… to give me the strength to continue and expand the work of evangelization and re-evangelization among my colleagues, friends, and family.

For many of us, this cause of evangelization is close to our hearts. It is something we strive to accomplish among all those we encounter.

This week, I hope to see in St. Joseph a new aid in my work of bringing Christ to more people.

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Father to Father is a weekly feature, appearing each Wednesday, examining what the Church, through the office of the Pope, is saying to us fathers. You can subscribe to the newsfeed here.

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Over the past several weeks, we have looked at many aspects of St. Joseph’s incredible life: his work habits, the way he lived conjugal union with the Blessed Virgin, and his silent strength.

Today we continue our examination of Blessed Pope John Paul II’s Apostolic Exhortation Redemptoris Custos, this time looking at the relationship between St. Joseph’s interior life and his ability to make great sacrifices for the child Jesus.

The total sacrifice, whereby Joseph surrendered his whole existence to the demands of the Messiah’s coming into his home, becomes understandable only in the light of his profound interior life.

Welcoming God into our homes – and welcoming a wife and children (and more children!) – requires a sacrifice. And as the Pope spells out for us: not simply a small inconvenience, but a total surrender. This is only possible with a deep and abiding life of prayer.

It was from this interior life that very singular commands and consolations came, bringing him also the logic and strength that belong to simple and clear souls, and giving him the power of making great decisions-such as the decision to put his liberty immediately at the disposition of the divine designs, to make over to them also his legitimate human calling, his conjugal happiness, to accept the conditions, the responsibility and the burden of a family

A full prayer life creates a rich interior life that allows us to be “clear and simple souls” with the necessary “logic and strength” to lead our families away from danger and towards the kingdom of Heaven.

Am I able to surrender my will so that my service to my family is total?

I must admit that the days when I followed well my plan of life developed with my spiritual director and stayed focused on prayer and started the day the way I was supposed to… those were the days when I was best able to give everything for my wife and children.

As the Pope notes: a profound interior life brings forth commands and consolations, the kind that give us the power to make great decisions as fathers.

My goal this week: to live a better life of prayer so that I may totally surrender myself to my family and the “demands of the Messiah coming into [my] home.”

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