Catholic Dads

How does one know if he (or she, and yes – there are female addicts) has a problem? Well, lets start with a very good definition from Sexaholic’s Anonymous, which happens to be the 12-Step program I am achieving sobriety in.

“We can only speak for ourselves. The specialized nature of Sexaholics Anonymous can best be understood in terms of what we call the sexaholic. The sexaholic has taken himself or herself out of the whole context of what is right or wrong. He or she has lost control, no longer has the power of choice, and is not free to stop. Lust has become an addiction. Our situation is like that of the alcoholic who can no longer tolerate alcohol and must stop drinking altogether but is hooked and cannot stop. So it is with the sexaholic, or sex drunk, who can no longer tolerate lust but cannot stop.

Thus, for the sexaholic, any form of sex with one’s self or with partners other than the spouse is progressively addictive and destructive. We also see that lust is the driving force behind our sexual acting out, and true sobriety includes progressive victory over lust. These conclusions were forced upon us in the crucible of our experiences and recovery; we have no other options.”

Here is the catch, family members, friends, and spouses can see these characteristics (bold) in a addict way before the addict can. The addict, for the most part, can not. The key phrases bolded above our beyond what the porn addict can see while in the throws of the addiction. What makes an addict move forward, of his own accord, is usually exhaustion and pain. If he is deep in his or her addiction, and is lucky, he may start to see he has lost control, no longer

Click here to continue reading “Porn Addiction – Identification and Help.”

I seem normal.

I am the average guy you see in the pew each week. I am married, I have two young daughters, my career is established, I am very active in my church and community. As matter of fact, I am an upcoming leader within my church.

I seem normal, except that I am addicted to pornography.

The usual response to this statement? Well, the response runs the gambit but is usually followed by a snicker. Most people don’t believe it is an addiction. Some argue it is a natural instinct to look at the opposite sex in a sexual way and that masturbation is a God given right.

So how do you get addicted to porn? There are many reasons which we may cover in more detail later. However, many people don’t realize that addiction often switches or morphs from one fixated object to another. It is not uncommon for an alcoholic that has successfully gained sobriety to accidently become addicted to drugs or vice versa. You would be surprised what addiction can encompass – alcohol, drugs, overeating, compulsive computer gaming, and even pornography or sex. I have heard many relate it to a giant “Whack a Mole” game from one of our childhood arcades. You lick the addictive action and it pops up somewhere else.

So, why have many not heard of this problem?

Well, this particular addiction is shamed based and recovery is not embraced by many. Unlike someone recovering from drugs or alcohol, I have to keep my recovery a secret for the addiction is greatly misunderstood. If my addiction ever was made public, my friendships, position in the church, and even my livelihood could be at risk.

My pastor put it best when he explained this to me…

“When you mention sex or pornography addiction, the first thing that comes to mind

Click here to continue reading “Porn Addiction”