Yesterday I encouraged Catholic Dads to stay married. Perhaps not coincidentally, I came across this tidbit today in an article on marriage that quoted a professor at Utah State University:
I found that the more time that spouses spend together, the happier they are in their marriage. In fact, spending time together was one of the strongest predictors of marital happiness. The reverse is also true – the happier that people are in their marriage, the more time they will spend with their spouse.
This finding holds over time too. When spouses increase the amount of time they spend together, their marital happiness increases (on average).
Update: And another article that reports on a finding that girls of intact families are 3 times less likely to be involved in lesbian behavior.
My wife and I are friends with a family. More accurately, a single mother and her three daughters – a ten-year old, and 6-year old twins. The father left the family for another woman.
I watched the twins this morning. Both my wife and daughter were still asleep when their mom dropped them off, so I took them to the living room and put on a movie to watch while we waited for my family to wake up.
I started the movie and the girls sat on each side of me and snuggled in. For me this is endearing and heartbreaking. All three girls are devastated from the loss of their father. Their actions show they need a father figure in their lives.
Family research has caught up and only quantified what has been plain for millenia. Kids need Dads. Girls from divorced families are 50% more likely to engage in teen sex. They are up to 65% more likely to use drugs. They are less likely to do well in school. They are more likely to end up divorced themselves (and therefore perpetuate the cycle to their children).
I do what I can for these girls. They know our home is a place of safety. They know both my wife and I love them. They know I will give them attention they crave. But I am not their father. I see their heartbreak and know that I cannot fix it. They will likely grow up thinking that men will abandon them. I pray God plants a seed from what they see in my house.
So this is another plea to all Catholic Dads. If you are married, stay married. Western culture preaches that adults should seek their own happiness first; that their kids can’t be happy unless they are happy.
Question: Has an open discussion of homosexuality made it easier or more difficult for heterosexual men to talk intimately? Here’s a provocative statement on the matter:
I think the whole gay discussion has been a huge detriment to men (not bashing homosexual men, just noticing how it affects everyone). A couple decades ago, nobody cared, but now we have to almost prove we’re not gay. We can’t even say homosexual, we have to say gay. Why?…
My answer: Our culture is so over-sexed that society has come to view all relationships through a sexual lens.
I recently saw the movie Old Dogs starring John Travolta and Robin Williams. I remember thinking how unusual the movie was because the plot centered on the relationship between the two main characters who had been friends since high-school. A joke used a few times in the movie was that other characters would look at the two friends as if they were homosexual lovers while the friends seemed oblivious to the suggestion.
There was no sexual tension between the men. They were entirely heterosexual men, each pursuing a woman he desired. Each man had strengths that complimented their friendship and made them successful business partners. Each knew the other’s hopes and fears.
I admit I do not have that type of friendship now. I did have that once with a friend I met while I was in elementary school. Darin and I were especially close throughout high school and into college. People saw us as a duo “Jason and Darin.” I still know him, but I now live in another state and distance has created, well, distance. When we get together, we can take up right
I had a Bible-centered upbringing and converted from Evangelical Christianity to the Catholic faith in 2005. I have been wanting to do some Bible study since my conversion but the demands of grad school limited my attention. Now that I am done with school, it seems that I have both the time and inclination.
Scott Hahn has published free Bible study materials via the St. Paul Center for Biblical Studies at www.salvationhistory.com.
I am going to begin with Covenant Love: Introducing the Biblical Worldview. A journey like this tends to be better with company so I invite Catholic Dads to join me. The site asks you to register first (free and no password is required).
There are six lessons in the Covenant Love course. I am looking at doing one lesson per week. If you are interested in joining me, email me: biblestudy(at)semperjase.com.
I am an MMA (mixed martial arts) fan. I even host a podcast and website about the sport.
I came across a Christian MMA clothing site today. Their tag line is “Jesus Didn’t Tap.” For those unfamiliar with MMA, “tapping out” is when a fighter taps his opponent to end the fight. Normally this is done when the losing fighter is in a grappling hold that can result in injury. An example is an armbar where a fighter’s arm is hyper-extended at the elbow by his opponent. If the hold continues, the fighter’s arm would be broken. The fighter will tap out to prevent the injury but admits defeat in doing so.
The site’s explanation of their tag line:
Jesus Didn’t Tap was one of the first Christian based MMA clothing companies to hit the scene. In the sport of Mixed Martial Arts, to “tap” is to quit or give up. The message of the Jesus Didn’t Tap line is that Jesus didn’t quit after going through unimaginable suffering and pain when he was crucified on the cross.
I am not sure what I think about it. I kind of like it. MMA competition is physically punishing but nothing compared to Jesus’ crucifixion. Maybe it will be effective to MMA fans. I think it is a message which can resonate with them.
The Duggars are expecting their 19th child. I have seen a number of Catholics commending the Duggars for their openness to life (I know, the Duggars are not Catholics but there are many Catholics who celebrate their example). But as their family continues to grow, my unease about their decision to have as many children as possible grows as well.
Obligatory disclaimer: I reject the claims (mostly from environmentalists) that large families are irresponsible and that children harm the earth. I believe that low birth rates in Europe and North America are hurting those societies. I also believe that other reasons given for small families, like the ability to provide financially, are exaggerated and focus too much on material concerns.
I have been trying to figure out what about the Duggars bothers me. Don’t they exemplify what the Catholic Church teaches?
The world says that we should have sex purely for its pleasurable aspect. But the Catholic Church teaches that sex is properly understood as being both unitive and procreative. In addition, the Church teaches that we should not be controlled by our base urges. Just because we feel the urge to have sex does not mean that we must submit to that urge. Engaging in sex purely for the pleasure rejects God’s purpose of sex between a husband and wife.
Now the Duggars have come to understand the unitive and creative aspects of sex that the Catholic Church teaches. They are open to life, so much so that they are producing as many children as is humanly possible. I have tried arguing with myself that they should be celebrated for rejecting the contraceptive culture and for embracing life.
Still the nagging feeling I had about the Duggars remained. Yes, they are open to life but it is obvious that
Jennifer Fulwiler at Conversion Diary shares a story of her encounter with a priest during confession. This is a moving story and is especially noteworthy during this Year For Priests.
It made me pause to remember and be thankful for the men who dedicate themselves to God in service to others.
The USCCB’s Committe for Divine Worship has a new website up to give information about the new English translation of the Missale Romanum (the Roman Missal). This has been a while in the making. The hubbub around the Catholic blogosphere about the changes has died down. I imagine the USCCB web site might get it going again.
An example of one change will be the priest’s greeting to the congregation:
CURRENT
Priest: The Lord be with you.
People: And also with you.
NEW
Priest: The Lord be with you.
People: And with your spirit.
I like that the translation is intending to be more faithful to the original Latin. There’s is one phrase I do not care for though. That is, one of the changes to the translation of the Nicene Creed:
one in Being with the Father
will change to:
consubstantial with the Father
I find “consubstantial” to be more academic language. I am a technical communicator by training. I find the new phrase to be poor communication (even if it is technically accurate).
Last time I heard news on the subject, the new translation was delayed because a number of bishops did not like the verbiage of the new translation. As I said, I do not object to it overall but I figure there are a number of Catholics who will not want to give up their “and also with you.”
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Finally, let us know what you think about the changes with the site. Send us an email at catholicdadsblog@gmail.com or leave a comment below.
Here it is. The very first Catholic Dads Podcast. Act now and you can download the Collector’s Edition at no additional charge. Servers are standing by to process your order.
In this show I interviewed Dr. Richard Wetzel, author of Sexual Wisdom for Catholic Adolescents.
As acknowledged by the National Campaign to Reduce Teen Pregnancy, while overall rates of teen sex and teen pregnancy may have declined, it remains true that one in three girls who are sexually active will get pregnant. www.teenpregnancy.org/press/pdf/sciencesays23.pdf.
Youths whose parents talked to them about what is right and wrong in sexual behavior were significantly more likely to be abstinent than peers whose parents did not. familyfacts.org/findingdetail.cfm?finding=9283
Catholic young adults with higher levels of religious service attendance were, on average, less supportive of premarital sex, cohabitation, divorce, and more supportive of marriage than peers of other religious traditions who frequently attended religious services. Catholic young adults who never attended had, on average, similarly supportive views on premarital sex, cohabitation, divorce and marriage, compared to other peers who never attended religious services. familyfacts.org/findingdetail.cfm?finding=9160
The more often parents watched television with their teens and the more they limited television viewing, the less likely adolescents were to have sex. familyfacts.org/findingdetail.cfm?finding=9275
Catholic young adults with higher levels of religious service attendance were, on average, less supportive of premarital sex, cohabitation, divorce, and more supportive of marriage than peers of other religious traditions who frequently attended religious services. Catholic young adults who never attended had, on average, similarly supportive views on premarital sex, cohabitation, divorce and marriage, compared to other peers who never attended religious services. familyfacts.org/findingdetail.cfm?finding=9160
Children whose fathers attended church and those whose parents
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