Catholic Dads » Salesian Preventive System

5 yr old’s tantrum controlled by prayer & St. John Bosco on punishment

Rick — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 22:25:00 +0000

Yesterday my 5 year old was having a fit and did not want to go out of the van. But we needed to go to Mass, so I told everyone else go ahead. Then I pleaded and bribed to no avail. Finally, I thought of spanking her to keep her from turning into a brat. But I considered how this might make her hate Church, so I backed off and prayed. Finally, I resorted to my weapons of spiritual warfare and cast out an evil spirit that may be disturbing her. I invoked the name of Jesus on whose authority I rebuked the spirits and ordered them to leave my girl. Without any exaggeration, she calmed down after that. So, I was able to carry her without any resistance. Before that, she probably would be kicking and screaming and there will be no point in dragging her. I placed her in the stroller then carried the baby. As I pulled the stroller closer to holy ground, I thought that any residual tempters will disperse. Sure enough, her temper subsided as soon as we stepped in. Make of it what you will, it is what happened.

Punishments do not make kids better according to St. John Bosco. So, an educator needs to avoid them. That is not to say that one must condone bad behavior. Rather, one must prevent the need to punish by putting kids in situations where they can do no wrong. This is a tall order but it is the one that works – considering the 20+ saints produced by this method.

Spiritual practices for youth

Rick — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 10:18:00 +0000

St. John Bosco (1888) did not make his boys do long prayers. Instead he encouraged short visits to the Blessed Sacrament & one line prayers.

These visits are appreciated by the Lord even today, as confirmed from this anecdote of Fr. Jimmy Hernandez of the Archdiocese of Washington D.C.. A construction worker would use his lunch breaks to visit a nearby church. It took him half an hour to get there, so all that he can do is knell and pray, “Lord, this is Jose. I just dropped by to say hello.” Then he’d hurry back to the site.

One day he had an accident and was hospitalized. When his friends stopped over, they found him laughing. He said the Lord stopped by saying, “Jose, this is the Lord. I just dropped by to say hello.”

While most churches are closed when there’s no service, whenever we drive by we can always pray “O Sacrament Most Holy, O Sacrament Divine, all praise & all thanksgiving be every moment Thine.”

Other popular one-liners are: “Jesus meek & humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine.”, “Mary Help of Christians, pray for us.”, “Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us.”

Heart speaks to the heart

Rick — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 20:39:00 +0000

St. John Bosco counsels his educators, “Love what the youth loves and they will love what you love.” No one cares about what you know until they know that you care.

The picture shows a few of my students from a school where I had a tough class. I had time to “waste” on them e.g. during the candy drive, I took groups to the metro station where we sold so much that we won 2nd place. I told them that I don’t believe any kid is bad & I meant it. They responded with trust & openness.

These days, I have my own kids. Lately, I got a couple of weekends when I did not have to work so I reconnected with my 9 year old by spending an afternoon in Dave & Busters. We were like comrade in arms as we shot aliens & dinosaurs. I relaxed his diet by treating him to a malt. Sure enough, his one word answers became more ellaborate. He opened up like he was talking to his friend. When we returned home, he told his siblings to look forward for a one-on-one time with me. Today, I played Old Maid, Dora Bingo & Trip to Candy land with my 5 year old daughter. She relished every minute of it.

There is a cost to all this. If I spent all the time at work, I’d make more & be in a higher pay grade. But if that will send my daughters to the dancing pole of a go-go bar & my sons to juvi to get my attentiion, then I rather spend my time with them. They’re the reason I work.